Songs I Love in 88 Words or Less: "Someone's Looking At You"

“Someone’s Looking At You,” The Boomtown Rats

With less than 2 hours to fulfill my New Year’s promise to write 2 of these entries a month, I’m down to the wire… Luckily, this isn’t the only time Jayne Mansfield makes an appearance on ssspunerisms!

No one stares like New Yorkers riding the subway do! From that flabby man who leered directly at the bosom of  a young woman whose shirt was missing a button in an unfortunate location to the bitchy ladies who size each other up, lingering on each other’s weak points (smug smiles should they spot a doughy lump, a cankle, thighs with no space in between)…this one’s for you--thanks for making the rest of us feel rotten. May your cup never be empty.

(And we still didn’t get to talk about how underrated Bob Geldof’s lyrics are.)

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Meezer Monday: Baby Mama

Don't have kittens, people--Jayne's back for another Meezer Monday!

I'm not sure there's a lot I can add here--the image really speaks for itself. But what the heck is it saying?! It's wonderliciously whack if you ask me. Jayne's putting on a brave, maternal sort of face, and I find it interesting that the mom meezer chose to have her babies on what appears to be a hardwood floor. I mean, we know all the 8 bathrooms in the Pink Palace have wall-to-wall-to-wall fluffy pink carpeting! And Jayne gets props for being so respectful of the mini meezers, not picking them up and posing by the heart-shaped pool and jacuzzi just to get a better shot or anything.





OK, so I never thought this wasn't about a baby...



P.S. Click here to watch the kittens play "The Immigrant Song."

Wordless Wednesday: Dear Jayne

Dear Jayne,

I heart you. Not just because you're a classically trained violinist with an IQ of 163, but because you had 'em, and you flaunted 'em.

You're the standard poodle of the Hollywood pantheon. (Dyed petal pink, of course.) I know how smart they are, but I'm not telling.

Love, Pune


I like this version:




He censors himself here, but OK, I'll take it : ) ....

Meezer Monday: WWJD?

Touch me in the morning and then just walk away...

Seriously, have you listened to that song lately? Well, I have--81 times in the last week, actually, because I just can't seem to grok it, and I can't get over how vulnerable and sad and romantic and really, well, lame the heroine--I'm calling her "Touch Me"--seems to be. It makes me mad that she's giving the guy all this power, you know? And is it just one night she's hoping for, or an actual series of booty calls?

I can't say for sure what Jayne Mansfield would do, but I'd make a bet that she would NOT lie there and think about the last time he touched her in the morning… No siree, she'd probably have kicked his ass to the curb long ago--better to lounge around your 40-room Pink Palace with your meezer in a leopard-print bullet bra than be somebody's sloppy seconds…

P.S. The heart, such strange things happen to it when it opens up.


I know, I know, this is like the Poseidon Adventure version of the song, but what it's lacking in subtlety and strength it makes up for in crazy sequined hats. And what is up with the dedication?!



Here's the male counterpart to "Touch Me." You'd think she and "Sun Shines" would hook up, but it never works like that:



Guitar courtesy of Jimi Hendrix (Yes. Really!!!):