Here's Derrick, lookin' mighty guilty after I caught him in the middle of not one but two naughty moves: A.) Opening the cabinet door so he can knock down the Cap'n Crunch, which has been there for months, and B.) Rustling the cellophane wrapping on the amazing vegan birthday cake (chocolate and orange!) my friend Phyllis made for me. Now, he really doesn't need to be that worried… He does these things with such joy that I never get mad, especially since his needs are pretty easy to meet. That includes the correct positioning of his kitty bed (I actually bought it for Bing but Derrick fits in it in such a way that he looks like some sort of furry bumper car) on the right-hand corner of the rug and going outside in the hallway in hopes of running into his dog friend, Jiggity. She's cute and always wears a blue bandanna.
Anyway…I was trying to think if I've ever been caught in a similar situation… Not exactly--but it was certainly with more malice than joy that I stole a Third World cassette from a party I went to one summer during college. That sounds pretty tame/lame now, but I took it for all the wrong reasons. Because the host's house was like ginormous and on the beach, and I figured, well, he'll never miss it and it's perfectly fair that a have-not should take from a have. Ewwww, right? My friend Petra took another one, and somehow they figured out it was us all along. If it's any consolation, it wasn't that good, and I'd gladly replace it now. If you've never heard Third World, I dunno, maybe they play it at Starbucks.
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